Thursday, March 4, 2010

You Girls Are Changing Me . . . Literally

When I was pregnant with Jillian my earrings suddenly became itchy. I tried hypoallergenic earrings. I tried silver - gold - anything. No good. I was a bit sad. I like earrings. Nothing like the 80's where I wore HUGE hoops, or one big earring and one small earring - but still I like earrings. Any earrings I tried made my ears itch. Apparently pregnancy can change your body chemistry. My new body chemistry did NOT like earrings.

3 years later when I was pregnant with Chloe & Claire I decided to cut 10 inches of hair before I spent 2 months in the hospital. Seemed like a good idea not to have to take care of so much hair while lying in a bed most of the day. When my hair grew back I had a 'bump' in the back. Ok, I had a few bumps . . . but I'm talking about the one on the back of my head. The pregnancy changed the makeup of my hair. I'm not known to spend more than 1minute on my hair, so this new spot really threw me for a loop. The hairdresser said I have a new wave in the back . . . in just one spot . . . just 1 wave . . . Go figure. I'm not trying to be whiny about it, but it has a tendency to produce a pretty wicked knot almost every morning. Or after I've been wrestling with the girls. I've thought about chopping off my hair - but it's too cold. Maybe in the summer.

So, 4 pregnancies and 5 daughters later I cannot wear earrings, have a new hair bump, can function on limited sleep over a long duration of time, can hear the slightest whimper of my child, and can help a child to the bathroom - get a glass of water - get some tylenol - and console someone in the dark. Motherhood has changed me in so many ways.

You girls have also taught me the value of slowing down, the importance of hugging, that people are a priority and cleaning the house is the interruption, that everyone wants to help and feel useful - even if they are 2 years old, sometimes life is scary and just acknowledging that helps, it's ok to ask big questions about God, it's ok not to know all of the answers about God & still have faith like a child, you can pray about anything, dancing without worrying what you look like is fun, and so, so, so much more.
Girls, I truly am a more patient and compassionate woman because of you girls. God has used all 5 of you to teach me. He has redeemed painful parts of my life in order to become mature and leave you girls an honorable legacy. God is using you girls to change me - mold me - break me - redeem me - shower His love on me. You don't even know it, and may not realize it for a while, but God works miracles through you girls, and I am eternally grateful.